Grandma's Surgery

So Grandpa and I were talking a couple of days ago.  Our conversation went something like this:

Grandpa:  Hey Pumpkin (that's what grandpa always calls me), can we talk for a second?

Me:  Sure Grandpa.

Grandpa:  Tomorrow morning Grandpa is going to take Grandma to the hospital and she is going to have an operation.  Everything is going to be fine but she will have to stay at the hospital a couple a days.

Me:  A hospital?  That's like the place I was born right?  Is Grandma going to have a baby?  I thought just young people did that?

Grandpa:  No, Grandma's not going to have a baby.  They do a lot of things at hospitals besides being a place where babies are born.  You know how girls and boys are different?

Me:  No, not exactly.  What do you mean?

Grandpa:  Well, girls have two arms and two legs and ten fingers and ten toes.  And boys have two arms and two legs and ten fingers and ten toes...

Me:  Well, not uncle Zach.  He's only got 9 toes right?

Grandpa:  Ok...you got me on that one.  What I'm trying to say is that there are some parts of the body that only girls have and some parts of the body that only boys have.

Me:  [after a long blank look of confusion] What do mean exactly.

Grandpa:  I'm sorry Pumpkin.  I forget you're too young to know these things yet.  I'll get back to you on that later.  Much later.  The bottom line is that some of the girl parts of Grandma that you can't see have gotten sick and the doctor has to get rid of them.

Me:  Grandpa, this is TMI for a baby.  Can you just cut to the chase?  Is Grandma going to be ok?

Grandpa:  Yes, sweetie.  She's going to be just fine and we will go see her in the hospital but when she comes home she won't be able to pick you up for six weeks.

Me:  What?  Are you friggin' nuts!

Grandpa:  Alexis, watch your mouth.  One weekend with your Great Aunt Joy and you start to talk like a drunken sailor.  I knew that would happen.

Me:  I'm sorry, Grandpa.

Grandpa:  That's ok pumpkin.  Just remember to always act like a lady.  Anyway, like I was saying, Grandma won't be able to pick you up because she can't lift too much until she is all healed.  But you will still be able to go up in bed and lay next to her and after a bit she will be able to hold you on your lap.  You'll just have to be a bit patient.

Me:  Ok.  it won't be easy but I'll try.  Remember I am a baby and I inherently want things when I want it.

Grandpa:  Where did you learn the word "inherently"?

Me:  Duh...from my Grandpa silly!

So that's how the conversation went, more or less.  Grandma had her operation yesterday and everything went fine just like Grandpa said.  She picked me up and held me before she left and today I got to go see her in the hospital and I layed next to her in bed and she gave me a bottle.  Grandpa says that tomorrow morning she can come home.  Just as soon as she can poop!